Ntando Ntlokwana

MY GREATEST FEAR… Those who are close to me know how much love this piece of writing “Our Greatest Fear” which Nelson Mandela once read. It has always been those poems when I feel like I am not good enough I would read and it would somehow motivate me. This morning though, when I was jogging, I kept on thinking about the things I have feared the most in my life. As a child, I was just good enough, I would pass at school, I was not an A student, but I was okey in my times we had top ten’s, so I would try to keep myself in that category. If I think about it, I always wanted to do better and it was my greatest fear to fail. As I grew a bit older the fear of failing in life grew with me and guess what, I failed in some of the things I wanted to do. It did not kill me though, but the fact was that, one thing I had feared the most had happened. Then I got to understand love, and relationships, my fear changed completely, my greatest fear became the fear of   losing those I ...

I t is W ell W ith M y S oul Since the passing of yet another loving brother of ours’, I can’t help but to think, real why are we here? I started to look back and remembering what had been so special about this life that we have lost in a space of five years, after we had lost our last born brother, who we also lost five years after we had lost another brother. Is it just a coincidence or that is how God has planned it or we did something wrong with the number five? These are questions my family is scared to ask, but I am certain we are all thinking about. When the helmets have been raised, hands waved and the coffin has went down, there is real nothing we can change, except being grateful to God for giving us such honour to have been siblings to him. We called him many things, His dad called him Kwekwe, his mom called him Bongy, his wife called him Babes, his brother called him Machel, his son called him Babah, his nieces and nephews called him Babo’ Mdala and us his beaut...

What if you knew that when: You approach that beautiful lady she would say yes, You write the board exams you would pass You write your book it will change people's lives You write that song or poem people will be healed You start that business it will prosper You take that first step you will finish the race or reach the top of that mountain You painted that painting it would be a masterpiece You were the one who will come up with the cure of HIV? What if we knew that we could achieve any thing... where would we be? , how many lives would be changed, if we understood that our playing small does not serve the world, if we knew that individual success is not taken from someone else's ...   What if we real knew that God created us to have dominion over everything, that we were called to be royalty, if we knew that Jesus said, " greater things THAN THIS you will do"...  ... the truth is, all the above can be achieved, the only thing...

Last night before going to bed, I felt like reading a very well known scripture, the Psalm of David " Psalm 23"... I remember when I was growing up, at my primary school we use to recite it almost every day " uJehova ungumelusi wami, angiyakuswela" meaning the Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want..... In my spiritual walk with Christ, I've always wished my teachers had explained this scripture to us, because then it was like a poem that we say as a prayer and I was so certain it is a prayer. I wished they should have explained it that this what God is to us, regardless of our circumstances. David was not a saint in the Bible, he fell so many times and he committed most sins that we can think they are unforgivable, but he was able to call God his shepherd, who will do so many wonderful things for him, who will never leave or forsake him. I know as human when we feel like we haven't been to church in a long time, we feel ashamed even to...

Someone very close to my heart recently introduced me to Ps. Juda's  sermons, from the United State... The above tittle is borrowed from one of his teachings... however it fits perfectly to what I have been going through in the journey  of becoming a business woman. Since the last time I posted on my blog, I've been meaning to make time to post something as there is so much to be said, but time is not always on my side. If I am not working, I am so tired to even pick up a laptop and type something sensible that can carry my name... Yes, this is a glimpse of what it takes to establish a business, and I'm sure its the same thing for those who have two jobs, or studying as well. So why am I coming across as if I am complaining??? NO, I am not complaining, but I think it is fair that some of us who have taken that leap of faith, to leave their secured monthly salaries and go to the wilderness of the business world, to tell the tale. I know when we post...

The time now is about 30  just minutes before midnight, I have been working and I just thought that maybe let  me share something with whoever will come across this piece of writing hopefully on the 17th February 2014, because this one speaks specifically about this day we are about to break into.   I have a thing about Mondays, as much as we call them blue Mondays, but for me they are always a day where I feel like I have been afforded another chance in life to do things differently, to develop myself and be better than the previous week. When I used to play ladies soccer, our coach used to say," You are as good as your last game" meaning, if you excelled in your last game, it doesn't guarantee you that you will always score that spectacular goal, but you need to treat each game with respect and as if its your first and last  one.    So this day is the day that the Lord has made, whether you feel like everything is falling apart,...

Yesterday was one of those Sundays where you go to church and come back wishing you could  have stayed longer, craving to hear more...   So on my way back home I heard the song "Ngaphiwa igama elisha: Nginguthandiwe" , which simple means, "I've been given a new name, I AM LOVED".... It was my first time hearing the song but I don't know I couldn't stop thinking so deeply how much God has loved me. I looked back in my life, I heard all the names that I have been called, some that I had given myself when I did not do my best. I remember calling myself an 'average child", because I was never good enough, I was just okey, I was never excellent, I was never the best, so that stuck with me, but it had to change, I had to change it, because I AM LOVED by God and the life of mediocre does not glorify His name.   Hearing this song made me remember all those people who in my position,...