Nothing but the TRUTH

I know those who know me in person will laugh when they read my tittle, I will not give the inside joke away though... I know its been months since I posted anything, I guess I had what they call the writers block,  or I was just trying to deal with everything that has been happening in the year 2014. This was not a greatest year to be honest, a year filled with so much loss in my life. I real thought 2013, was bad, but 2014, was even worst. 

 

As much as this year was so painful for me, but somehow there was so much growth that came with it, I learned so much in both my personal and business space, however the greatest lesson was that life is so amazingly short, I once posted a piece titled " Life is just a vapour", I think then, I still didn't get it that life is real like a blade of grass, a petal of a rose, a mist that disappears each time the sun rises.

In the same spirit I learnt to appreciate those in my life, who made all the aforementioned loss feel a bit lighter on my shoulders, those who held my hand and wiped my tears when I didn't even have enough strength to lift my own hand. Yes this year was literally filled with moments like that, but those amazing souls, changed from being just mere human beings to giants.

I can never forget the morning, I think it was about 2 am when with my sisters we moved furniture to make space for mourners, who would be arriving in the morning to pass their condolences, for my brother who had passed. What intrigued me about that morning was that I could see the pain in their eyes and how tired, they were, but they pushed on, they behaved like men because they knew it had to be done and there was no one  else, but just us.I learnt that through all the pain and stresses of life, we remain stronger than anything before us. God always give us strength to do whatever that needs to be done.

 

I had amazing  business ideas and concepts,  I knocked on so many doors and not even was opened for me, as discouraging as that was, but I learnt that giving up is not an option and it can never be an option. Life is not easy, but no one said it would be. We are all in a journey, some of our journeys will be filled with ups and downs, with so many detours our heads will spin, but we fight on.

 Its amazing how people have come to judge success based on what they see on Social media, and they never get to comprehend the hard work, tears, sleepless nights and early mornings that goes into making what we see on Social Media happen. Yes God has humbled me in the most possible way, but that has taught me to appreciate everything in life.

 

The meaning of songs changed, I fell out of love with songs that promised miracles, and things that are seen in the movies, but fell in love with songs that appreciated and acknowledged the realities of life, those that promise hope and chances to change things in life. God created both the good and the bad, but we always remove Him when there is a dark cloud hanging over our heads because "its not Godly" to have your husband leaving you, to have a loved one dying, not having that child, a dream job or a business that you want so badly.

My dad who hardly goes to church said it better " God is perfect" whether we are happy or crying but He remains God and His greater plan will never make us go through what we can not survive. I am looking forward to a greater and a better 2015, but I know that, more sleepless nights and more tears will go into making that happen. I have big dreams and one of them is completing the book that I started writing, but I haven't written even one chapter in the past two months. So as you reading this, don't hate yourself  for not having a perfect life, for not having perfect anything, but do your best, LOVE  yourself and those in your life, dream big, have something to live for, we all need that reason to wake up in the morning no matter how impossible life seems to be...

 

I'm sure by now, some think that I'm using wrong dates, but  this post was drafted in 2014 and I never published/posted it, I don't know why, but I think the lessons that I thought I had learnt I hadn't, I real looked forward to an amazing 2015, which turned out to be the worst year ever. Nobody close to me died, but, I was challenged so much in my life. I remember during our New Year's eve prayer with very special people in my heart, I gave thanks, with tears running down my face because I real could not believe that God had kept me to see 2016, that he had given me another chance to try this thing we call life again.  I remain humbled by the Love of God in my life, and now I can stand and testify that yes He is an amazing God, He always make a way where it all seem impossible.

 

This post is more about me saying, after all that we have been through, life can never be the same again.  I am still not done with my own book,because the storyline keeps on changing and I am struggling to keep up. Yes, there was a lesson learnt in 2015, that God's timing is perfect and we've heard TD Jakes and Linda Sbiya saying "It is not over until God says its over"... believe me its real never over, and as long as there is air in your lungs and your brain is still working, there is a life waiting to be changed by your experiences, as ordinary as you are, by the way you can never be just an ordinary person, because you are a child of the most high God, the one who created heavens and earth, the world might have rewritten your life story, but this morning I'm here to tell you, go back to your creator, He who wrote your book, the author and finisher of your life, you will be remember the person that he created you to be, before you were told that you not good enough or maybe you will never amount to anything.

 

Maybe one day I will finish my book, however in the mean time, I will be sharing my poems, that I started writing in 2011, I recently shared them with someone, who advised that I should publish them. They are my feelings, thoughts, joy, pain and just the reflection of what I have gone through as a person, but ... maybe its not such a bad idea, I know I will never stand in front of the crowds and recite them because " I AM NOT A POET" , I know I am offending someone just by saying that, which is true though because I am just a woman, who strongly believe that, my journey might not be that different from other people's journeys, but some how, if one life can be impacted by what I write, my job will be done here on earth and that will be fine with me.

 

We live in the world where we all want to come across like perfect people, no matter how broken we are, and in that way, we never heal, because you can never redress, what you do not acknowledge, Jesus said "all those who are heavily burdened must come to him," therefore they had to know their circumstances so that they can be healed.

 

This is real nothing but the TRUTH, the truth that we are all sons and daughters of God, regardless of what is happening in our lives, and He real have good plans for us, we often misunderstand his doings because we are so feeble and humane, therefore, our sight is very short we can never see where He is taking us .

 

 I know  2016, is a year of a renewed vision, as much as I am certain that it is going to be beautiful, but just incase it turns out differently, I remain grateful, f0r the liberation of having the complete faith in God, knowing that whatever happens, He will be right there next to me... and when the going gets really tougher He will lift me up... That is the Jehovah I serve, that is my father, your father, Our Jehova, our Peace.  

 

I live my own dreams every day, sometimes they feel like nightmares, but I remain grateful because they are shaping me to be a better person, till His glory is seen in my life.

 

With So Much Love and Hope

Ntando